You know what they say about the best laid plans...
It's officially the latter half of December, which means there are only a two more weeks standing between us, and 2017. I always take this time to reflect, to reassess and, my most favorite thing of all, think about what my reading is going to look like in the new year. I've been known to cackle delightedly over plots and plans regarding books.
2017 is going to be a lot different than 2016 was though, mostly because of what I've learned about myself this year. Which, to be completely honest, is a lot. I've had a year filled with introspection, not entirely by choice. More on that below.
See, I have anxiety. High functioning anxiety to be exact. I can look completely normal on the outside, going about my business, and be a raging mess on the inside. Books, and (now more than ever) music, have always been my escape from that. A way to get out of my own head, and be lost somewhere else. Unfortunately this also means that I plan obsessively, and then beat myself up when I don't stick to that plan. Reading plans included. This last year was a battle with my inner self to remember that reading is an escape, something fun, and not something to wring my hands over. This blog suffered a lot as I grappled with those facts.
Then, I just kind of let it all go a few months ago. I'm learning to sit quietly with my anxiety. To face up to it, and show it that I'm the one in charge. I've learned how to make short term goals, and stick to them. To break daunting tasks down into tinier ones, to sate my need for accomplishment. I've learned that it's okay to admit that things are overwhelming sometimes, and step away. I've learned that it's okay to share how I'm feeling, and ask for someone else's help.
How has that affected my reading? I'm not as obsessive about tracking it anymore. If I don't hit my "yearly reading goal" I'll be fine. If I don't read that newest release when it first comes out, that's okay. I've even stopped signing up for as many tours because I needed to reassess what I was reading and whether I was doing it for pleasure or because I wanted to push out content. I love blogging, but I love reading more and I don't want to lose that.
So what are 2017's reading goals? Just read. Just read, and enjoy it. Go back to writing more posts here that are fun, and impulsive. I'll still write reviews. I'll still participate in tours. They'll just take a backseat to what I feel like doing in any given month. I'm going back to the way this blog was when I first started it, almost 7 years ago. My haven. My safe space. My passion.
Thanks for sticking with me through all the madness, friends! Much love to my co-blogger Tina too who, despite being a very busy mom, has definitely kicked some blogging behind this year.
Here's to 2017! May it be everything you want it to be.